Lonely…

It’s often when I’m sat in a group or someone mentions something that reminds you of something I once had. The love I gave someone and they wasted. All the time and energy that now means nothing. Not a relationship; just all those failed friendships.

I give my all and receive none. I’m fine with it now. I realised to be different you have to be built differently. Not everyone will love or treat you the same way. You have to acknowledge that the love you give is because it’s something you never feel. You want to give without thinking about what you’d get.

This is how my loneliness started. I let go when they did, I stopped fighting and begging and started realising I’m worth much more. The friendships I had I let go because I deserve so much more. I don’t have faith in any more but I do know that the Almighty is saving me.

There’s nights and days where I regret not having a friend but then I come to terms with myself again. I did that, I caused that to be better. My loneliness was scary at first and now is aching but what I remember is that I’m saving my self from so much hurt.

The loneliness isn’t just a feeling, it’s my surroundings and my way of life. I left it all to be enough for me. To be better on my own than with those who just moan.

Days will go of emptiness and the nights will be full of darkness I’ll miss what I could have but my worth is so much more. I let go for better and will be better.

So whatever you’re feeling, the emptiness. The loss of people. The heartbreak. The loneliness. The pain. The constant war within your mind, remember why they don’t deserve you. Use this time wisely and focus on what matters. Your health and wealth and the aftermath of your death.

Keep going; do not rely on others besides the one who brought you to this world. Our Almighty and our Lord.

I believe in you.

Don’t allow your thoughts to tell you otherwise, you are doing amazing.

I love you.

You matter.