Raw emotions

Hi, it’s been a while since we had a heart to heart with pure, RAW emotion. I’ve had many rough patches.

I’m trying to survive whilst war is still in my mind.

I’m trying harder than you can imagine to just ignore thoughts.

I’ve never felt so lost or at lost as I have now.

I wish I knew how I could stop this pain but instead every time I try to figure out I become insane.

The source is the pandemic for worsening my mental health and nothing more. I’m losing my education from one side and my sanity from another. Nothing is harder than this.

I begin to get better and slowly come off the rails like a child with bad behaviour. I don’t need a favour just the world to feel the same. It wasn’t the best but it was normal. The normality of leaving the house without a mask or a worry on your mind.

Now some are not even kind and others are just fighting their tides.

I wish I had a glue to fix this all and make it all blue. I wish change could happen overnight but nothing will change this fright.

I hope for better and never let go of prayer.

I hold on to the thought that God is testing my patience to make me stronger and if there is anyone who can serve a miracle it is Our Creator, The Maker.

Don’t ever stop fighting or pause your war, don’t hurt yourself or overwhelm. It is all to test your faith in your Lord. So face your heart where it should be, focus on what matters not what shatters.

YOU are the strongest you’ve ever been, so I need you to hold on a little tighter and keep going. you are more than enough, you are loved and you are most definitely important. This wave of hurt and pain will soon end. Have faith and never let go.

I made that mistake and there was nothing more I hated and regretted. I let myself down more than anything. So here is your reminder.

To keep going…

To keep fighting..

To keep loving even when your heart hurts.