Stop reloading it.

Stop repeating it.

Stop replaying it.

It happened, it saddened you, but it’s not to be destroyed over.

Let it be, let it pass and let it go.

It wasn’t your fault; you cannot change what only time could tell.

It wasn’t your fault; only you knew where you was going.

It wasn’t your fault; it changed, but you didn’t.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Through the storm, you must have something to keep you calm.

Calm, warm and something of the norm.

Something sweet, something neat and something complete.

Don’t waste your time following everyone else.

Don’t waste your money finding something else.

Just be and it’ll come.

Your love for everything else.

Your passion for something else.

Your desire for one thing else.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

With you or without you, I’ll make it.

With you or without you, I’ll do it.

With you or without you, I’ll have it.

As much as my life may revolve around you… the world doesn’t.

So I’ll let you evolve, all alone.

So I’ll let you be, in your nightmare.

I have to put myself first, so I don’t curse myself.

I have to be me, or I’ll have to see the consequences, which wouldn’t make any differences to you.

And that was my reality check.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It’ll have ups and downs.

It’ll have broken petals, dying flowers and untrimmed grass.

But that’s your garden.

Made with love, treated with care.

Don’t let someone come and rearrange how things should be.

Don’t let them tell you how it’s supposed to be.

It’s yours. Just like your mind. Just like your life. It’s yours.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Nobody deserves access to you constantly.

Like a free entry or charity case.

Your love shouldn’t allow others to be in and out.

But that shouldn’t stop you from showing love.

The reality of other shouldn’t stop you from being true.

True to yourself and true to everything else.

Love more, do more and be more.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

I’ve started to question everything because if I don’t I’ll end up with nothing.

It’s like I have to ask or else it all feels like a mask.

I have to reveal what’s underneath because what if it’s not real?

I have to figure the deal before letting it seal.

I have to prioritise myself and figure the price.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It should have been illegal, the way you treated.

It should have been other people, the way you poked that needle.

Question is why me?

What did I do but love you?

Perhaps it was just above you.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

May you continue to cheer.

May you connect to what is near.

May you find what is dear.

Begin to put yourself first rather than last.

Start to love yourself rather than waiting for others.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Here’s to a new year…

To water what we grew before.

To love what we have already.

To enjoy what we already knew.

Letting go of dark thoughts, difficult times and complicated emotions.

To just be without wanting to be seen.

To love without expecting to be given.

To be heard without having to perform.

Here is to more.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Every month it’s like I go to war.

Every month it’s like I forget who I am.

Every month it’s like I just don’t know what to do.

A constant cycle, a repeated flow and a cluttered state.

Dark thoughts and unwanted feelings.

How do I accept that this is what it is?

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

I thought I knew you so well but it turns out to be you would leave aswell.

I thought I knew you so well but you turned out to sell me out too.

I thought I knew you so well but you’re just like hell.

Red, danger and off limits.

You taught me everything I knew.

You left me with everything but you.

You hurt me like I was just dirt.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Am I alive or or far away from this life?

Am I here or just somewhere near?

Am I there or just holding onto prayer?

What am I even doing?

I’m still going and it’s showing.

Doubt will eat you, betray you and defeat you.

I should just believe and achieve.

I should just hold and be bold.

I should just keep going and stop looking.

Into the past, the memories and the blur.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

You told me I’m a good writer.

Isn’t it because I’m a fighter or is it something lighter?

I wish I could be better but all I feel is getting tighter.

Summer or winter, I’m still a writer.

Whether you see it, whether you feel it, whether you hear it.

It’s within me now in you.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Let it come, let it go.

Let it stay, let it go astray.

Let it be, let it leave.

Don’t hold something that is nothing.

Remember your worth, remember your value and remember your strengths.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It’s all the same and I feel like I never change.

The dates go up, the time goes and the skies change.

I remain the same, somehow, some way.

The same thoughts, the same ways, just a different time.

Dark thoughts, empty thoughts and wicked thoughts.

What am I without them?

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

We give, we take and we enjoy.

We never really ask what a person wants, we just assume.

We love in our ways rather than theirs.

We must begin to ask, to understand and to develop it further rather it becoming stranger.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It’s never the same but it’s almost like it doesn’t change.

It’s so strange but you was an escape.

It’s like I didn’t have to chase but we still had the space.

Now I’m left with the thought which causes me to rot.

No more shots, no more takes, no more breaks.

It was now or never, it was 100 or nothing but you choose something.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

A new chapter.

A new beginning.

A new story.

All about me and for no one else to see.

Indulging into new hobbies and finding what’s hidden in my lobby.

I want to find love within myself and go above and beyond for myself and nobody else.

I want to figure it out without influence.

I want it all to make sense to me.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

That’s how things are when they’re no longer required.

They are expired.

Out of date, something too late and no more of a wait.

It’s over. Now it’s time for closure.

For something better, something lighter and something happier.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

In the search for loyalty, but only receiving betrayal.

On the way to peace, but only finding the least.

Trying to find happiness, but constantly in a state of sadness.

Figuring the beauty of the struggle, fighting the trouble and finding what can make me chuckle.

Here we go…

To looking for more.

To living for more.

To loving for more.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Often when I find myself with good I make sure it turns bad.

It’s like a part of me wants to end it.

End the happiness.

End the lostness.

End the sadness.

Finish it all by making it bad.

As that’s what I feel like I deserve.

Pain, hurt and sorrows.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It has to be reciprocated, or it has you feeling neglected.

Putting your all in and receiving little as nothing.

Why do we do this?

Why open a door which is broken?

All for something but then nothing; then, everything is unspoken.

Full of thoughts, full of talks, and full of possibilities, which ended up as nothing.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Not everything is a fairytale.

Not everyone is made to sail with you.

Not every person is there to experience detail with you.

Some are just there for various reasons like exploring, noticing and listening.

Several are contagious, most are temporary and a few are everlasting.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

What’s yours doesn’t have a limit.

What’s yours doesn’t have a expiry.

What’s yours doesn’t have a end.

Yours is what you keep in store: inside and in your mind.

Within you and beside you.

Find yours.

Be yours.

Free yours.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Everything is fading.

Time is moving.

People are changing.

I feel the same.

Numb, lost and undiscovered.

What do I do to feel alive?

What do I do to feel this life?

What do I do thrive?

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

This life is to end.

This time is to end.

This cycle is to end.

The goal is to end.

With what we love, with what we hate and with what we cherish.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

This is the month of suicide prevention.

This is where we should be able to mention our thoughts and struggles.

Rather than turning a blind eye or ignoring what comes to mind.

Open yourself to help and others.

Be aware of what the world offers.

Never forget that you are loved, even if you’re not feeling it.

Your worth is underestimated.

Your presence is needed.

Your life is worthy.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It does us good, it does us bad.

We’re used to being up and down.

Change must be given, allowed and accepted.

We must be able to accept differences and similarities.

In people, in things and in our lives.

Emotions will always come back to shore but we must store that elsewhere.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

I want something real that makes me feel.

Feel alive through all my veins.

Feel alive through my breath.

Feel alive through it all.

How do I heal?

To feel everything.

To be honest without discomfort.

To be heard without being seen.

To be loved without questions.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Hurry up don’t forget, or you’ll regret.

The regret being not sharing.

Not showing, not caring and not being.

Share your feelings, share your loving and share your being.

Don’t be hidden because that can cause you to feel ridden.

Share what’s on your mind and let them find it.

Find it, see it and feel it.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

I don’t know what to feel, and I constantly think none of this is real.

I feel like I’m just in a hole which will never end.

A hole where it’s just me, myself and I.

Nothing feels right, maybe I just need to fight…

My mind, my life and these dark nights.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It’s difficult but it’s magnificent.

The road is uneven, but you’ll find your reason.

To hold on tight, to bring a fight and to be able to find the light.

It’s difficult to find the time but you must in order to fight your mind.

Memories are now treasuries.

Darkness is now your new light.

You’re easing where you should be leaving.

Patience is confusing.

You go back to where you came from, you touch your open wounds even though they’re not healed.

Only to realise you should be holding on tighter.

What’s for you, will find you.

What’s yours, will not miss you.

What is written will be given to you.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Some people heal you and others just free you.

Free you from their presence so you forget about their essence.

Free you from their mind but you end up blind.

Free you from themselves so now you’re by yourself.

You let your guard down but now you’re just scarred.

You open up but find another reason to be closed.

Hold tight, love hard and be easy.

On yourself, by yourself.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Late nights, endless thoughts and many wishes.

Wishing to do more.

Wishing to do better.

Wishing to do it all.

Fighting for a change but for it all to end the same.

Thoughts to start again.

Thoughts to find that lane.

Thoughts to become sane.

Writing so much about the past to avoid the same in the future.

Late nights to be restful.

Late nights to figure out what’s more peaceful.

Late night to be more wishful.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It goes back and it goes forward.

It comes and it goes.

It leaves but sometimes it stays.

Sometimes you are stuck and sometimes you are struck; you see the time, you see the days… It all flew by.

Everything comes back to you, memories and flashbacks.

The fun, the dark, and the current all merged.

The laughs, the cries and the urges all put together.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

They all come and go.

Some stay, some leave, some just exist and others last forever.

Everyone leaves a stain on the brain.

Whether they stay or leave.

Their presence isn’t something that can be taken away from those moments.

Unfortunately, we have to carry that and survive that.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Struggling to focus, trying to write and losing my thoughts.

Where do I begin when it’s all blank?

Perhaps that’s where.

The emptiness, the feeling of nothing and the urge for it to be morning.

All of a sudden, that’s where I’m stuck…

Reminiscing about what could be, drowning in what it should have been, and dreaming of what would be.

Stuck but sure I will move at some point.

Further than this, closer to that.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Every day is a chance to become more, to do more.

Every day is new to become brighter and better.

Every day is different and brings joy.

You cannot want more but decide to stay the same.

Change is necessary, change is growth, change is needed.

Each moment we have is something new.

Even though change can drag feelings or memories back, it must be.

Don’t look back, be able to look past this and create so much more.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Before everything, before you, before them… It’s me.

I have to hold myself.

I have to deal with myself.

I have to love myself.

Nobody will be there through everything but you.

You can explain, but they will not understand.

They will listen, but they will not feel.

Everything can be shown but not seen.

Put yourself first rather than last.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Some people will drain you.

Some people will make you.

Others may just leave you.

Each to their own but be careful where you put yourself.

You absorb what is around you; you become what is with you.

Be vigilant, be aware and open.

To new experiences but not new vibrations.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Just like salt and sugar, friends are difficult to understand.

Some good, some bad.

Some may do something in the shortest time you’ve known them and other may take years to fulfil.

They’re just like flowers. Some bloom, some die.

Some cherish you, others love from a distance.

Some teach you, some you learn from and others you love from.

Every friendship is different; some are natural, and some take some building.

Take time to love your close ones, learn about them and be with them.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Love her right or let her go.

Treat her right or let her go.

Cherish her right or let her go.

Don’t hold onto her just to feel better about yourself.

Don’t give her fake love to enjoy her real love.

Don’t give her nothing when she gives her everything.

Love hard but see your worth.

We only live once, which shouldn’t be on someone else’s terms.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

We will be higher than ever.

We will be loved and not ignored.

We will be heard and not blurred.

Everything will be seen and nothing will be between.

It will be all you and nothing else, everything you grew by you.

Even in the dark, you will be the light.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

All those tears weren’t for nothing.

All that fear wasn’t for anything.

All you wanted was someone to hear and be near.

So why can’t you be that person you want for yourself?

Why don’t you stop prioritising everyone else?

Why will you not see yourself for who you are?

So much potential, but you’re putting yourself at little.

Everyone else has so much hope, but you have to cope.

Start again, do it again, because if it had someone else in the equation, you wouldn’t have stopped.

Love yourself a little harder.

Be kind to yourself sooner.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

We all give and take.

We all share and wear.

We all know and see.

The vibes, the energy, and the feelings.

What’s right feels good.

What‘s wrong feels bad.

That’s our intuition. That’s our gut. That’s our vibe.

Everything has its place till it’s out of its phase.

Don’t deny yourself the truth because that can cause fire in your booth.

Take what is given and leave what hasn’t risen.

Forcing yourself to be a part of something will change nothing.

The vibe remains the same, and energy will be in range.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

People are here and there.

Emotions are everywhere.

Due to their actions, I would be reacting.

Due to their doings I’m questioning.

Due to their lack of respect, I am detaching.

They all come and go.

Nobody is definite.

That’s when I realise that…

Each moment is to be savoured, celebrated, and remembered.

To take the photos and make the memories.

To accept what it is rather than imagine what it could be.

We need to be okay with what we have rather than seeking more.

To understand that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

The last act of love is to leave.

To let go of all you believe.

To let it be and say to me.

Long nights and early mornings.

Dark days and love pouring.

Heart aching but still loving.

Figuring how to be living, with you and without you.

All that talking for nothing.

This is the end.

Goodbye friend.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

What do you think you will gain from all those times of pain?

You know them so well, but they left you to dwell.

How can you expect them to fix you when they broke you?

So much love, but all gone above.

Once you tear something apart, it will never be the same again.

Once you smash a glass, it will not return to its shape.

Once you’re hurt, you will not feel the same.

That hurting will be healing, but not with those inflicting it.

So, stay away, at bay and not in their way.

Hold yourself further and not closer to them.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

I want more.

I want to see all the floors and have all the tours.

I want to find a cure.

To the random sadness, forever tightness.

To find what’s pure and what’s more.

To not detour and to make sure I stay.

For more and not war.

For love and not hate.

For me and not you.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

The colours are fading.

The efforts are changing.

The love is ending.

Longer days, brighter mornings and darker nights.

What can I do when all I think of is you?

Wishing you are okay, wishing you are better and wishing you are here.

Where are you?

Hidden away, far away and so far away.

I wish you was here, I wish I could share my thoughts, I wish it could’ve been easier.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Wherever you go, you leave a piece.

Of yourself, of your mind and of your heart.

Be open minded, be clear headed and clean hearted.

Whoever you meet let them see you for you.

Don’t be ashamed, don’t be afraid and don’t be strained.

Give yourself whole and expect nothing back.

Do goodness and expect nothing back.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It all feels heavier, not lighter.

Even though they’re memories, they’re like treasuries.

Sometimes you look other times you ignore.

Sometimes you see and other times you hear.

What it was like before it changed that night.

It felt like you bloomed but indeed you was doomed.

Up and down just like a yoyo.

The happiness is temporary and the sadness feels like all I carry.

When will I be able to bury all this that feels so heavy?

Deep within, hidden under the surface.

The truth, the urge and the dark.

The lip service which makes us feel nervous.

The truth which feels like its us, versus them.

The light which reflects so light.

It’s there we must just feel.

Believe and don’t deceive yourself.

No one else will reveal what is meant for your bookshelf.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Let it all go; get it all out.

Don’t hold onto the old, hoping for the new.

Don’t brew tea where they want coffee.

Don’t compare your trophy where there isn’t any.

Be lost within yourself and not with everything else.

Be whole with who you are before your goals.

Be in your mind and not blind.

See yourself for who you are, flaws and imperfections, see your perfections and applause.

Don’t find your happiness through others.

Let it all go.

Be you, for you.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Lost along the way, how do I pray for what I can’t say?

For all that I’ve lost but all that I’ve gained.

The fight that tore me apart broke my heart and forced me to restart.

The same four walls cause different kinds of falls, inside and outside.

The love which felt like a glove, so tight and so right.

The people who felt so close but then became so far.

The way everything fell in place before burying myself that day.

I lost myself but found another version.

I gave myself nothing because everything felt taken.

Little did I know it was hidden; I just needed it to be figured out, like a puzzle with a struggle.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It feels like we need it.

It feels like we have to have it.

It feels essential and without it, it’s consequential.

No meaning, no feeling and no longing.

Life feels colourless and my dreams feel empty.

The cards are laid out, but my hands can’t hold them.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

I know we don’t talk about it often but when someone asks how you are you stutter.

I know we don’t talk about it often but when someone asks how you are you smile it away.

I know we don’t talk about it often but when someone asks how you are you focus on them.

The urge to be okay is deep within.

The face is what they see, so why show them what’s truly inside?

Smile away, let the tears hide away.

Don’t let them see you bleeding, so we keep smiling.

It’s the worst feeling but how can I let it be showing.

My tears feel like they’re rolling but I’m not crying.

Smile when they ask, smile when they wonder and smile when they walk past.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

You’re asking me if I’m okay, but how many times must I process all these things that make me lose focus?

It’s like using a magnet on everything that’s not magnetic.

It’s like having everything and focusing on nothing.

It’s like trying to make something live when it’s dead.

Complicated but loved, difficult but appreciated.

That’s where the focus must be.

Those who you have not those who you lost.

Keeping the touch alive and not letting it die.

Be kind, be gentle and be patient.

What goes around comes around; what you give will come.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Are we alive or are we deprived?

Are we content or are we descent?

Are we here or just somewhere near?

Hearts beating, minds racing and everything’s speeding.

Times going, memories are fading and the age is growing.

Where are we if not here?

Within the moment, within the present and within the now.

Far away, stuck in a different timezone, different space.

Feeling like it’s not happening, like time isn’t moving, like things aren’t changing.

It’s all going, it’s all improving and it’s showing.

We are doing better.

Healing, growing and being.

Like flowers, we are blossoming. It just takes us a different way. Perhaps that means reaching heights we were never aware of.

You will grow in your own way. You will bloom in your own time. You will blossom when the time is right.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It’s okay to do it again.

It’s okay to give it another shot.

It’s okay to start over again.

Don’t let your brain tell you when.

Your heart is saying yes, so I guess it’s time to stop being stressed.

Focus on what is in front of you and leave what is making you stunt.

Just because it didn’t work out the first time doesn’t mean it will not work out at all.

Keep going, keep holding and keep trying.

The fire ends, the smoke disappears, and the clouds keep moving.

Everything keeps going, so why shouldn’t you?

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

The last day of the year.

The end of this year.

It’s all a blur, but I’m still her.

It doesn’t matter where we were.

We are still there.

We survived, and we were surprised.

Here’s to what’s next, may it be the best.

There’s more to come, more to have and more to share.

More light, more bright, and more on this site.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

When everything slows down, when little things seem bigger and when everything stings…

Just let it be.

Allow yourself to see and agree.

It’s all going to happen, but your reaction has action.

Do better, be stronger and fight harder.

Keep going, keep holding and keep moving.

Even when the day bleeds and the night awakens, focus on the truth and don’t be mistaken.

Your mind can also lead you to being blind.

To what is in front of you, behind you and beside you.

You are loved but may also be disliked, but that is okay.

It is not the end of the world, certainly not yours, but if that is on your mind, please do reach out:

Samaritans: 116 123

Domestic Violence: 0808 2000 847

SHOUT (Text service): 85258

Childline (Under 19): 0800 1111

National Sucide Prevention Helpline: 0800 6895 652

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

People come and go, but it all stays inside the mind.

Flashbacks, pictures and texts.

Everything about them remains, and you’re left with the pain.

Their existence vanishes, time changes, and everything evolves.

Onto better things but thinking of them.

Wondering how they are, urging to reach out but choosing not to because if they wanted to, they would.

They could’ve stayed; they could’ve done more but didn’t.

You cannot do more when they want less.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

There’s nothing that feels right.

It’s either too little or too much.

It doesn’t feel enough and ends up being rough.

This confusion feels like a delusion.

I’m not sure how it goes, but who knows?

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Full of pain, why is it always the same?

Constant regret and feelings of shame.

Thinking, regretting and reminiscing.

Feeling like I’m wrapped in a lie.

Feeling like I’m sucked in by life.

Feeling like I’m interrupted in this time.

It could’ve been so different instead of so difficult.

Here we are, breathing, still going and holding.

Guess that’s the good, the strength, and the health.

We might not be at our best, but we had a test.

Now, we must continue for better or for worse.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Thoughts are racing, my heart is beating and the rain is pouring.

Am I glad to be alive or am I just passing time?

Doing nothing but feeling everything.

I’m trying to stop my head from going under, I can’t go below the water.

Not again, not now and not ever.

A deep breath, a fresh start and a new beginning.

That’s all I need to keep going.

To be focusing, to be ignoring and to continue healing.

These dark thoughts and questioning feelings to be pushed aside whilst I gather what needs to be rushed inside.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

The colour of love, the colour of excitement, but also the colour of death and the colour of fear.

I feel like red, burning in hell and facing death but also full of love feeling out of breath.

It is bright but also dull—everything all at the same time.

The urge to do more is unbelievable, but the strength to do so is not recognizable.

I’m slowly falling and not reaching, but I know one day I’ll be blooming and not deflating.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It’s right; we all struggle with expressing things, but those suppressing thoughts can be holding you down when you can be addressing them.

Just a little heads up instead of nothing, just a thought out loud instead of it being hidden in your mind, just that inkling that there’s something.

Talk about it, let it out and stop it from putting you down.

You will never know the difference it can have till you begin to feel its magnificence.

The little changes that cause pure conversations, genuine interactions and better connections.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It’s like walking through a field full of flowers, that fresh air, those beautiful colours and the feeling of another.

Feeling refreshed and forgetting all that was messed up.

Being in their company and seeing their smile is all that is made worthwhile.

Everything feels so clear when they are near, and when they’re not, you search for them till they appear.

It all feels brighter and much lighter with them…

Dark nights feel less lonely, your mind less full, and your heart warmer.

This is all I want to feel whilst I try to heal.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

This saying always had me thinking…

Am I drinking or am I enjoying?

Am I sinking or am I floating?

Am I suffering or am I blossoming?

Am I living or am I surviving?

Am I hurting or am I healing?

Is it all ending or just beginning..?

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Everything that was done has to be gone.

We have to start afresh to feel refreshed.

It all has to begin from within.

The question is how, but the answer is now.

Pick up the mess and lay down to rest.

Allow yourself to breathe and feel yourself free.

Enjoy what is around you and stop letting it consume you.

Slowly but surely, we will arrive at our destination.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Staring at this keyboard with many thoughts in my mind, but not a voice I can find.

The white background overpowers what will come next and how I will type the text.

It’s like I have the urge to write but when I enter the platform I lose all ideas, words and phrases.

This isn’t writer’s block, just confusion within this illusion.

Have you ever felt that you could express but then it wasn’t a success?

The way words flow sometimes and have that glow, but other times, they find a way to go and just be slow.

That’s exactly like my mind: busy but quiet, slow but fast.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

My mind is full but my words are stuck.

The thoughts are all confusing, tempting and consuming.

So what do I do…

When nothing makes sense, and all feels so intense.

When the dark comes closer and the light feels further.

When the mind is so full, but the life is so dull.

When everything feels so close but so far at the same time.

What do I do?

Scream in a pillow or sit and mellow.

Cry and waste time, or say hi and be fine.

Talk to someone or ignore everyone.

What do I do?

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

I feel like I’ve been burnt out, and I can’t be lightened again.

It’s like finding the light but not liking it and suffering through it.

Either I’m sad, or I’m mad; there is no in-between.

So, how do I find myself?

This is the challenge and the next step, to find me again, to be me again and to live again.

Without holding onto everything else and growing with anything else.

To change versions but not change systems because I know who I am; I’ve just forgotten how to deal with the daily growth and changes to myself.

That’s the hard part, knowing you will adapt and every version will be a different you as you age and learn of growth.

So even when it doesn’t make sense, keep going because one day it will.

Growth takes time and you need to take time.

With you, for you and by you.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Just like XXXTENTACION said… I don’t understand this.

So much change; it’s so lame.

I’m stuck in my mind, but everything else is moving.

If I stop, it’ll all leave, and my time will not come again.

Then what will I do? When the dark is darker, and the pain is hurting harder?

I let it all come to me and take it instead of letting it go and fly past me.

These choices are challenging but a must.

I advise you all to follow your dreams and ambitions and not stop.

To go even further and stronger.

Find yourself, love yourself and better yourself

Sometimes it’s confusing and other days it’s straight forward but then I’m just sad again.

It’s like all I know and will know is sadness.

I want to try to know how to feel but I just don’t.

Hopefully, some day I will know what happy is.

It’s something I am waiting for but how can I wait when I can create?

All I have to do is believe and achieve, to touch and see out of the dark hole and be alive.

Find yourself, love yourself and better yourself

Sometimes I’m okay and sometimes I’m not, but it’s okay to not be okay.

It’s such a long way up and such a short jump down.

I’m feeling only pain but that happy mane.

It’s so risky, I could be detained.

The medication makes me high but patience is a virtue and all we need.

Love is all we need to feel.

It doesn’t matter what it takes to be okay, as long as you wake up and take yourself back up the stairs with energy and not enemies.

Just be patient and not an inpatient, find yourself and never lose yourself.

Seek that help before it seeks you unnecessarily.

I love you all; Muni❤️

Find yourself, love yourself and better yourself

Me or you?

Them or Him?

God or the health professionals?

It was just me and Him. Allah Swt.

He saved me and nobody else.

I love myself and I love Him more than anything.

Clothes, brands and all those materials mean nothing when you have been ready for one piece of cloth… Besides the loved ones I miss and yearn for.

Find yourself, love yourself and better yourself

Father of the world, unconditional love.

A diamond is a piece of coal that never gave up.

Don’t let the world pull you into its madness…fighting with anyone, reacting is a form of fighting, maintain the transcendent dimension.

The way to enlightenment is through the darkness, bringing it to light is by being, training, guiding all the unconscious self.

We never left the Garden…we have some fixing to do.

We never lost the plot; we lost our feet.

Roses to grow, flowers to feed and grass to make greener on every side.

It’s all happening regardless with or without you.

God’s army of love is already here and it’s beyond imaginable, no fear just trust and flow.

DO THE WORK.

FOLLOW THE PATH OF FAITH AND FIND YOUR GRACE NOT GRAVE.

We went through the darkness and now the light will find and shine.

Weak faith is equivalent to a lost soul.

Forgive us all for we never knew not what we did but He will.

Conscious awareness is earned through faith and belief. It is built then watch them come, purify the ego.

The spiritual war isn’t with “them.” It is the people against the unconscious that gets hold of us.

Those who are unaware, unpredictable and disregarding.

Destroy the unconscious desires of the world, through love, compassion and gentle guidance.

Do it by loving everyone and everything. Awaken in all, grace is faith; faith through love and love through all.

Have faith and pray for the universe, trust and let it work for us, forgive us as we know not what we do

The route cause of suffering and the vicious circle we were caught in.

The authenticity is seemed as false reality.

Everybody wants to be somebody, unconsciously willing to cause suffering for self gain in persuit of desires to relieve suffering. Everyone could eventually and would have everything beyond anything they could ever dream of if they got free of their unconscious and let the intelligence of the universe do it’s thing

Consider your thoughts like everyone can hear them… Because they can; they have their senses available.

Don’t let the distractions pull you in, stay present don’t explain and don’t retaliate.

No justification is necessary just return to stillness for satisfaction.

The only problem is that 99.9% of everything you think, say and do is for yourself and there isn’t one.

In the silence lies the unveiling of wisdom.

They who talks does not know, that what knows is, the highest knowledge is unutterable.

Enlightenment is the path to enlightenment with no means to an end. There is no end goal, that is all mind projection and expectations. All are englightened they are just too lost in their mind of ideas to see and experience it.

Go to sleep and imagine things with the greatest of joy as you desire them to be…Catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled, and give thanks with sincerely from the inner most soul and heart.

Power, wisdom, delight all from within.

Don’t ask what the world needs ask what makes you come alive because the world needs more of what makes you come alive.

Pure listening implies alert, open attention to the speaker not your thoughts. Thinking with awareness, feeling with sensing.

Kindness costs nothing; are you aware you are addicted to thinking?

Existence is the instrument of God.

Don’t act upon thought without time and reflection, trust the right action will flow out of the present moment.

Forgive the unconscious actions of myself and others their true identity is all that is, we just forgot.

Forgive them as they know not what they do and when they do.

Become aware with a breath of air. The freshness of a mint and summer put together.

Your focus determines your reality and family.

Being is dying by loving.

You give up knowing you know to be it all; Needing nothing attracts everything

Philosophical emotions, medieval institutions and god like technology.

Let the flowers remind you why the rain was necessary and how time was needed.

It’s no degree of health to be well adjusted to a sick society.

Find yourself, love yourself and better yourself

Green to be zen, pink to think and black was to be ignored.

Yellow is the brightest but is it the most perfect?

Which leads to white being the strongest and the weakest or K which stands for the strongest woman by my side who will be a fire fighter and not a flyer from emotion.

It’s just like Wiz Khakifa said “black and yellow.”

Find yourself, love yourself and better yourself

Solutions is what our communities need. We have identified many of the problems.. New solutions and ideas are needed, G-Rated Ideas.

Supporting tha G-Rated Community

I’d hope not but here we are.

We all do good and we do bad.

I wished, prayed and begged for things.

This is what happens now; God takes over.

Not me.

Find yourself, love yourself and better yourself

I must’ve said I loved him.

It’s not the NHS in decline. It is the workers, guinea pigs and the exterior partnered people who keep it going.

Forget the bands and forget the rest.

NHS SHOULD BE BAND-LASS.

I had to have given everything and all at one time; in order to find and have what is right.

They: are all those people who have touched me, try to ‘guide’ me and barged me into everything possible.

The people around; the voices that echo but during the night that silence is louder.

Dance in silence is what some kind soul told me.

Find yourself, love yourself and better yourself

The help is declined and the NHS is wiped.

It’s 2023 yet we cannot see the difference between mental and physical.

The difference between me and you is unbelievable but not understandable.

Let’s hope I make it or this site will live.

My soul will live forever.

Mental health forever matters, nor ill and nor broken.

If your heart yearns, your mind is full and your hands are shaky.

Just seek that help…

I know this was not meant to be my destiny but the wrong admission has led to the wrong output and I may not have that legacy.

I will always love you all but love this platform and do what you have to do for YOU❤️

I’m detained and trying to feel somewhat sustained.

This website is proof of my existence and my well-being alongside all those who are disagreeing and discussing that this is feeling which has come upon me.

I wish it were easier and lighter.

That burden of sadness, that pain of brokenness; it is undefinable, unrelatable and uncontrollable.

Hard to discover, difficult to solve, so what can I tell you about my health when it’s been out of hand for so long?

I have never felt that I had someone who could hold me nor who wouldn’t hurt me.

I now know through death and life, Through all my feelings.

There’s my family and multiple people who will save, protect and guide me.

I could be on my last breaths, but I still know who can and can’t be around me.

From section 136, which I did not deserve, I have managed to retrieve section 2. That, for me, is still not enough.

I will change the world and leave my imprint before I die.

No matter my colour, my religion and all I follow. The world needs good, and for that, you have to find the urge to give.

Unfortunately or fortunately, I am surviving.

If I ever lose control, GLORIA – I will survive was my anthem.

FIND YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF AND BETTER YOURSELF.

Unfortunately, all I want is life for it to be mine.

This whole entire site will survive; you will survive.

We’re not using Grammarly, we’re not using rhyming words for the fake content.

Unfortunately but maybe fortunately?

As a Muslim…

I am seeing things, I am feeling cold, I cannot breathe properly but I am okay!

The severity of this is ridiculous but what happens will happen!

I will write again…

I would like to right again but some phrases in life aren’t nice.

We are in 2023 but I feel like it’s 2015.

If I die… Which I hope I will not…

Reach out for help and if it is too late for me…

Do not beat yourself up.

Do not harm yourself.

Believe in something, anything but do not let it be nothing.

I may not make sense but I tried…

For too long, too hard but I leave this to God.

Find yourself? Love yourself? Yes! Love yourself! Do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (for me, who is alive?)

I deemed the mental capacity in life?

They let me go? But that’s okay! Because I will survive… IF GOD WANTS ME TO.

I love you all and I hope my writing isn’t scaring you but read this content well.

Look at the dates…

I’ve been trying…

I never stopped through all this pain and my goal in life was to never die?

For the wrong reasons, this is drastic but it is fantastic!

I have the will to live and eat for God.

Find the will for yourself though.

Mental HEALTH and the ILL health!!!! MATTERS!

Sleep isn’t on my to do list but to stay alive it has to be… But when did I ever sleep since 2015?

My new phrase is ‘social distancing’ to keep people safe.

It has been for a while… But I tried and whoever is in my life or has this needs to know that.

This is not a death/suicide note; it is a reality check. Unfortunately, I couldn’t spell that right but that’s fucking funny mate!

I Do not know who or what I am but I know…

It is for Islam? I guess? Anyways love yallllllllllllllllllllllll❤️

find yourself, love yourself and better yourself

^ from the ‘conscious and subconscious me?’

The phrase I have to keep me going is… I want to but I can’t? (Library nurse❤️❤️❤️)

I am strong and I am important and all that stuff. (ES.)

I truly tried to survive on my own from this moment onwards ❤️

Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeek the fucking help lads❤️❤️❤️

Mental health matters but do not let your thoughts and your mind eat, kill and tear you apart.

Okay bye. Here is to another night to get through to be okay (haahahahahhaahahahahahahahahah) ok but that’s enough. Draw the line. ‘Muni’

This is my mind summoned in one sentence.

It is all I have been trying to make sense of.

The urge inside me, the test beside me and the thoughts running within me.

I want to ignore it, BUT I can’t.

I want to be okay, BUT I can’t.

I want not to worry, BUT I can’t.

I want to accept this, BUT I can’t.

You matter and so do I.

Mental health and mental illness feel uncontrollable, unstoppable and unforgettable.

I am trying, so please use this as an example to keep going.

I understand. I truly do.

I love you all.

We are important, we are loved, and we matter.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

From where I am stood, have things ever been good?

If you knew how many doors shut on me, you would also question my existence.

Unfortunately, within me, I have built this arrogance against the little voice in my head; I question it before it questions me.

Even though I feel expired, finished and exhausted.

Death is not an option; IF I CAN PREACH THAT, WHY IS MY BRAIN STILL NOT UNDERSTANDING? I CANNOT DO IT.

I have to keep going. If not for me, for all those I will reach one day.

For that mark and stigma I want to remove and that I feel every day.

I am not asking mental health to be normalised, just understood, and not to be seen as a repercussion of not following my religion correctly, for being selfish, for being guilt trip every time.

That is the only thing I want. I have established my goals and how I will get there.

Nobody else will pep talk me, and nobody else will say the right things besides the guilt trip constantly.

We do not have to find something; WHEN WE HAVE OURSELVES.

You are you. You made it to exactly where you are WITH YOU.

Look in the mirror and stop feeling this horror.

Nothing and nobody else did; you could have stopped, BUT you never.

We are soldiers of the war within our brains.

We are warriors of the pain that survived via what is caused in our brains.

We are who we are; why stay alive to please or be for anything else but you?

I will always end my writing with the following seven lucky words…

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

These thoughts of darkness do not get easier; they become lighter.

Where the sun doesn’t shine, it will come. Where the grass isn’t greener, it will grow. Where the rain feels like a visual expression of what is inside, it also brings you the rainbow.

The light can be found; you can be found.

It feels surreal and sounds like it won’t be happening.

However, regardless of how we feel, those little things will keep us going.

The sound of an instrument, how fast the clouds change, the different coloured pairs of socks you are wearing, the different types of clothing you have, the texture of things…

All those places we have never been but have our names written.

All those things which call us, but we do not answer.

All those feelings of happiness are yet to experience and to be discovered.

Your success will not be if your process is not fulfilled.

You have meaning. You have love.

If not from anyone, From God and the person in the mirror, alongside me.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

These are times when nothing feels right, and my chest feels tight.

Nobody will give you what you give them.

The best way to describe me is 100% or nothing; that’s is the wise statement from the person who had made my mind clearer.

No matter what it is, no matter who it is, There is always something missing.

The extra miles I go for them and the steps they wouldn’t take for me.

I love what I give, and that is what they miss.

It’s like I will never find someone like me.

Down to earth but also straightforward; Loved but also with a balance of hatred. Funny but also angry.

I have many definitions, and I am different people at once, but all I ask for is what I give… Why is that something I will never live with?

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It’s difficult to do good when you’re feeling bad.

It’s hard to grasp hope and have others doubt you on top.

It makes you want to break, stop and give in.

You think you’re not worth it again; you think all this change will let you gain at least some support and love.

Instead, it is just full of stupid responses and ideas.

Your thoughts are being expressed in a way which isn’t the norm, so they won’t accept.

I believe people are scared; they begin to question your whole character and portray themselves negatively.

Whether it is the social norms, their beliefs or what’s around them.

There will always be something in the way of you trying to be better, doing better and finding better.

Unfortunately, someone else’s stupidity should not be valued nor viewed in your mind on repeat.

Let yourself be. You know you. God knows you.

That is all that matters, the person in the mirror.

Keep going and fighting for yourself.

Your weakness can be someone else’s strength.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

We are all affected in our ways.

Girl or boy, woman or man, old or young.

We all suffer from the thoughts in our minds which tend to eat us, bite us and torture us.

Mental health matters, and, unfortunately, people have to commit suicide for someone to realise their worth.

For someone to care an ounce or even a little gram.

Turn to your loved ones, and please; cherish them before it is too late.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

That feeling of rejection and disappointment will forever run through everyone.

Some will accept who you have become and realise that you’re not who you was before but others will torture you for what you did like it was a war.

Some will love who you have become but not say a word.

Everything finds a way to fall and become a norm. Even the worst feelings and the best have their teachings.

Growing within yourself is all you can do, your answer must only be silence so they know you cannot be hurt.

You must protect yourself. Like a newborn baby. You are delicate. Your mind is beyond and nobody will ever understand.

You are your own.

You are your strength.

You are your weakness.

Hold yourself up high and let it all fly past you.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

We have these times in our life, where we feel nothing we have nothing when we see nothing.

Nothing keeps us going, and there is always something else which we start trying.

It is awful to be in these situations, but it is all the confusion and miscommunication.

If that love was received throughout our lives we might not be here.

We might feel like nothing.

Sometimes the darkness is so dark, that those things that seem like they will fix our burns that sting just tends to cause something worse. Then we begin to feel like nothing.

Once again, nothing.

Those thoughts and emotions are forever, though incapable of stopping in denial within, and rushing through blood. Through every vessel through every vein through every artery, the thought is still there.

I hope one day, all of us who have suffered can be cured.

I hope that one day we won’t touch those emotions ever again.

I apologise if you can relate, and I apologise if this triggered anything.

All I do on this platform is turn my thoughts, emotions and feelings into words. I express myself, and all these ways to at least one of you don’t feel ashamed or alone.

There is always a way out, even though I’m waiting for those doors to be opened. I made my way to find what I can say, and do what I can, for others, who may feel this with.

I love you all, you reading this right now means a lot. It means that someone is hearing me. It means that I am also not alone. I’m not feeling good enough for me. It’s good to know that whenever my time is over I was heard, I was listened to, and I did everything I could.

I hope one day, this platform reaches everyone who is hurting who is aching, who is yearning to figure out their emotions.

Please take care of yourself your body is your temple and your mind deserves a rest.

Even when you cannot press, reset, just alter your mindset and find what you can press.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Every time I feel down, I look to that source of self-harm.

Whether that be drugs, prescript or not, alcohol and all the other substances possible.

I know that I cannot and will not go back but that ease is unfortunately not found anywhere else.

Even though that was once all mine, all that caused the high but everything that made the kite not fly.

I feel like I constantly forget, even though it is so easy to do. I should not, I can not and these feelings will slowly reside but all I feel is like this life is not mine.

That part of me which is so broken, mistaken and hidden should be a part of now; even though it’s not what I want consciously and it’s just reminiscing of the past choices which have a tie.

Those thoughts that lie there tell me that I can’t be.

They tell me I won’t make it… But I have.

I made it for 1596 days clean of any self-harm.

So I can do it but I just don’t know where to start or how to go about it.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It’s 00:21 and I can’t stop thinking.

There are no voices in my head but just constant loops of situations I was in.

I could’ve been dead years ago. I could’ve been somewhere else years ago. I could’ve done it all, again and again but I could’ve also even avoided it all… But that’s what got me here, that is what made me ME.

It could’ve all been stopped but I started again.

It was all a choice, a way that I choose.

Something that matched me then but doesn’t match me now.

Something that was okay for then and not anymore.

That was then; but this is now.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

It’s to write and to talk about my fight.

It’s to let everyone know that the light is hard to find but it is there when you’re on the way and at the right pace.

Long days, dark minds and aching spirits.

We wish to be free, to be open and to love who we truly are.

Mental health is nothing to be ashamed of neither is mental illness.

We just need to find our cure, what is for us and what isn’t.

Not everyone will understand but there will be someone willing to hear where you stand.

There are so many colours and so many shades, think of people and humanity the same.

There are so many of us and so much to us, we misunderstand and feel differently towards each one.

You will find the person who will hear you without you saying anything.

You will see what is for you without it happening.

Seek for help, and lean into the one who is asking you if you are okay, you will be better but you have to get further.

You have to have your say, you have to find your mind and what is happening on your ride within this life.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself

Today I realised we are all numbers and a part of figures.

We aren’t seen as those who are breathing and healing.

It’s just that number and this number.

Unfortunately, the hierarchy controls it all and there seems to be a change which is too slow and too low.

It isn’t coming enough for those who are struggling and trying to start healing.

They’re just in a bracket, under a label and hidden with the digits.

We all have feelings and emotions but the people up there who have the control just feel as though we are animals to be tested upon, to be treated upon and to be broken.

From the first moment you breathe and source mental instability, you will be seen as an experiment. It what worked for them, that might work for you or all just a test.

Till the moment you heal and feel a change of speed in the wheel.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself.

The waves are coming crashing in, the world is breaking apart and humanity is nothing but just a being.

Being alive right now, being stuck in your world and forgetting what’s around.

Just being here, that’s all it is for everyone.

I wish I found ease in myself rather than everything else.

I love my own company, I cannot stand mingling with other people. Besides those who give when I do, besides those who have time regardless of what the calendar says about what’s next.

Maybe I expect too much, just like the love I give.

It’s too much.

Or it’s just all of nothing with me.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself.

There isn’t a lot said and not enough done.

This is a reminder to all of you, to check on those, to help them, even when their emotions exist hidden.

Just be kinder, a little lighter and a lot better.

Give more, support more and don’t stop.

The littlest thing could save them.

Find that urge in your heart to do more, to help and to never stop.

To give and never expect.

When they leave it is all pain you receive.

The guilt will find a way to be built.

Just help, just listen and just do something if you can.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself.

Breathing, being and existing.

It’s too much in itself and I just feel like I’m that book which is always left on the shelf.

It is like not having your own shadow and just being in everyone else’s.

However, some days it’s full of being the light and having that attention.

There is no balance nor a way out of this sequence.

It’s either being so dark or having so much light.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself.

When I have a lot to do and a lot to complete, it feels like I can’t be.

It’s like being in the dark and finding a matchstick to light so you can fight and make it all right.

Is it light or dark? I guess we won’t be able to tell and it’ll be all a mess.

Everything is sucking me through like a hoover but all I want is for the ground to start swallowing.

The dark has never felt darker.

The light has never been needed more than right now.

This consumption is causing a distribution which is leading to distractions and then all those destructions.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself.

You want to slice and dice, pop and spill, neck and forget what’s left.

You want to treat yourself like shit so you can stop to think.

To control, to be, to have.

To just remember what it was like.

That freedom, that feeling that whatever it was; But you’re sober, you are you, you’re finding a way from all that.

Be true and don’t act like you don’t know.

You don’t know the pain, the strength, the struggle and the efforts it took of you to stop.

So why go again? Because it feels good? Because you forget everything?

That’s not good enough. Live these dark moments and be true to yourself.

WE WILL MAKE IT OUT OF THE DARK!

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself.

I’m drowned in everyone else.

Their problems are mine but my own are unexplainable.

I cannot explain nor let this pain leave.

There’s no emotion, no feeling which comes to me.

Happiness or sadness, we just have to keep it going because what reaction can I even give?

Who will even understand the depths of my heart and where I truly stand?

The forever darkness, that feeling dead but alive.

That numbness which doesn’t let me encompass my oneness.

The light is dim and so hard to find.

One day I will find what is mine.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself.

We tend to break and cause so much to be at stake.

We cause issues and struggle to find solutions.

It takes a while for things to feel mild, once again I have freed myself.

This is one less thing off my mind, one last thing which has been resolved.

It took me years and through all my teenage years to fix this one mistake I made.

I wish I started sooner rather than later.

I wish I didn’t make it worse, so I wouldn’t be so cursed.

But I did it now.

It’s one fixed mistake which taught me so much.

I hope with this solution, this fixation and dedication.

I return.

This is a mistake which has been amended.

If I can… YOU CAN.

Find yourself, Love yourself and Better yourself.